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Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind, by Michael J. Bradley
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Review
Bradley, a psychologist drawing on current brain research, argues that teenagers are basically nuts. While 95 percent of the brain -- Publishers WeeklyBradley, a psychologist drawing on current brain research, argues that teenagers are basically nuts. While 95 percent of the brain -- Publishers Weekly on August 6, 2001
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About the Author
Michael J. Bradley grew up in Philadelphia, where he attended parochial schools before entering LaSalle College on a military scholarship. After briefly serving as an officer in the U.S. Army, he entered law school and supported himself with a temporary job counseling troubled adolescents in an inner-city Philadelphia high school. To his amazement, he developed a passionate interest in his new sideline job and switched to graduate studies in psychology, ultimately earning a doctorate from Temple University. Since then, Dr. Bradley has worded with children, adolescents, and their families in treatment settings ranging from jails, to social service agencies, to private practice. His professional experience with children encompasses virtually every aspect of youth work. In addition to being a licensed psychologist, Dr. Bradley holds a specialized certification in the treatment of substance abuse disorders from the American Psychological AssociationÂ’s college of Professional Psychology. He is also a member and Fellow of the American College of Forensic Examiners. Dr. Bradley, his wife Cynthia, and their biological son Ross adopted Sarah, a baby girl who was born cocaine-addicted and then nearly starved to death in a neglectful temporary home. After one terrible year, she began to blossom into a beautiful and loving little girl. This "gut-wrenching and incredibly rewarding" experience reinforced the core premise of Dr. BradleyÂ’s work with children, which holds that "love is indeed the most real, most potent aspect of parenting. And, in parenting, what doesnÂ’t kill you makes you stronger." A recipient of the William Penn Humanitarian Award, Dr. Bradley lives with his family in suburban Philadelphia, where he worries incessantly about his childrenÂ’s impending adolescence.
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Product details
Paperback: 363 pages
Publisher: Harbor Press, Inc.; 1 edition (November 8, 2002)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0936197447
ISBN-13: 978-0936197449
Product Dimensions:
6.1 x 0.8 x 9.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.7 out of 5 stars
261 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#36,109 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I haven't reviewed many things, but felt compelled to write how this book has changed our home life for the better. We have a blended family which has been trying at times and our teen has gone through difficult periods. It really has to be you who changes first and then you'll be encouraged to see how things can quickly follow suit. I also have toddlers in my house and it's almost the same mindset of- Their brains aren't functioning at full capacity yet. I know it's not easy, for me as an adult, to control my feelings so putting yourself in their shoes helps you let go of all the anger that their defiance and attitude brings up. You're choosing to model good behavior, expect good behavior, and let go of your expectations of a perfect teen to be rewarded with a happier and closer relationship with your human, mistake making, still growing teen. It's not foolproof, there are still bad days, but they are much farther apart and less severe than they had been.
I wanted to like this book, I really did. I mean, it has really great reviews. (Un)Fortunately, it didn't discuss most of the problems I'm having with my teen.As I write this review, my son will be 16 at the end of the week. He's a superstar compared to the examples in this book.This book discusses:-The hormonal changes that make your teen "crazy." --I already knew some of this so it wasn't a surprise.-Drugs and Alcohol-Teen Sex and Drives-Acting Out - fighting, name calling, screaming at parents and other peopleAnd that was great. People need to be able to understand how all of that works. I read at least 3/4 of the book before I found information I was looking for and the information there was lacking. These are items like:-School Work/Grades and life balance (I mean, we all want a work/life balance)-Teen amnesia - the "I forgot"-Sudden "blindness" or "deafness" - this is written about but I needed MORE.I will say that one thing I got from the book was "talking points." My husband and I talk to our son about drugs, and he talks to us about them, so the stories the author shares were easy to work into conversations at dinner. My favorite is the one about the "red pill in the toybox." That was a good drug and trust conversation.So yes, I'd recommend this book if you are in a high risk teen situation, but if you would consider your teen well adjusted but forgetful, spacy, and sometimes with a little attitude, this may not be the type of read you're hoping for.
I turn to this book whenever my teenage son pushes me too far. Rather than react to him, I retreat to my room and thumb through the book looking for the chapter or passage that is relevant to the circumstance at the moment. The mantra I say to myself is "He's Crazy, I'm not. This too shall pass and my lovable son will soon return." I know this to be true because my older son has come full circle after a couple of years of the silent treatment, rolling/evil eyes, shaking the head and passive defiance. I wish I had this book while I was going through the "crazy teens" with him. The anecdotal stories are useful, and in some cases calming.
Several pages worth of excerpts were given to me by my counselor whom I visited to talk about issues with my daughter. I've read them the same day and the light bulb went on and for the past two months we had zero fights. Not because she is not hormonal anymore or dealing with growth and changing schools and family issues, but because I finally internalized a truth I've known for a long time, but it didn't actually click until Bradley spelled it out for me again: we are our kids' rock and we model behavior and unconditional love. no matter what they do or say, we are here to love them unconditionally and teach them how to react and act to crisis and emotions and situations. if we are reactive to their behavior, we would just push them away and in dangerous situations and also damage our relationships with them. if we learn to really be in control and take some distance and look at their tantrum and such from a broader perspective, we would be able to keep our cool and not yell back, not hit back, not abandon or betray or abuse our children. It changed my life, that one small chapter. So I ordered the book the same night and started reading it from the beginning, but no matter how helpful or not the rest is, it deserves 5 stars for the way it changed our lives for much better. I purchased other books from Bradley as well and can't wait to read them. One is for teens, teaching them the parents are crazy haha.
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