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Product details
Paperback
Publisher: Broadway, Paperback(2000); 17th edition (2000)
Language: English
ASIN: B002DKI3HC
Package Dimensions:
8.4 x 5.8 x 0.7 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
395 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,053,301 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I have mixed feelings about this book. There is some very nice writing in it but too much repetition. It's hard to feel empathy for someone who has the time and money to take a year off in a cottage by the sea. She claims to have been at the service of others her whole life and yet admits she was controlling and stubborn and hints that she has had affairs and taken off before. She claims to want a marriage worked out to the satisfaction of both her and her husband and yet gets her way in the end. I felt that her husband, sons and daughters-in-law her very one-dimensional--nothing but props in her life. She even admits to encourage her sons in to early marriage just to get them out of the house.
The story is about how life as a "parent" basically put an end to a woman's aspirations, drive, vision, enjoyment, self-actualization, excitement, adventure and etc. etc. etc.Yes, a family will do this automatically for most people even though they may think, wish, or expect it to be otherwise.However, this is not gender specific. Men, specifically the husband in this novel, gave up all these things as well as a result of being a parent. As more and more women are finding out today, careers, corporate life, the endless drab existence and stress of office politics etc., is just as life curtailing as being a stay at home parent.The husband in this novel lost himself no less than the wife. This usually happens to parents. When their children are gone they wake up, sometimes, and realize that their lives have passed them by, have little meaning anymore, and were not what they had hoped for.The husband in this novel got no better a deal than the wife. However, the story makes it seem as if HE is the reason she was oppressed, lost her way, and stopped enjoying her life. In fact, to keep the money coming in he moved across country to an insipid area (Wichita) from New York. He was, in fact, a corporate whore for his family who gave up his freedom of moving and living to the beast that supplied his, the families', job and income, paid for the college, and bought the wife's car etc etc.Not unexpectedly the husband eventually realized the error he had made so much so that his wife asked him where her husband had gone. She had grown disinterested in, and lost love for, the corporate drone that her husband had become for HER and HER CHILDREN!And thus, to an extent, this novel is radical feminist propaganda. I gave it two stars because it was rather fun trying to predict the next hackneyed twist in the plot.
I bought this book because it was made into a movie (which I've not seen). While it was easy to read, it was NOT a compelling story. The main character JOAN is a wife & mother of grown children. When her husband takes a job in another city, Joan decides to move to their cottage in Cape Cod. The story is about her journey in re-discovering herself. The book was OK but I would NOT recommend.
As an avid reader of nonfiction and as a woman who can relate to several of the themes presented that were associated with aging, giving much to those around me and little to myself, and the search to find what the next decade will bring with anticipated transitions of children and its impact on my spouse, work, and home, I thought I would be able to completely relate to this book. Unfortunately, I could not and often found myself thinking that the author needed to have a dose of reality or at least some grounding in gratitude. While a year of downtime sounds wonderful, it left a story that for me was limited in the storyline and plot. I found the descriptions of events a bit verbose yet the total presentation constrained as if it were necessary to describe the occasion in detail but with limited analysis and reflection necessary to arrive at a deeper truth. Perhaps Ms. Anderson were simply too tired and needed a transition free from in-depth meditation but it felt boring and empty at various times. While I appreciated the premise of the book and the author sharing her experiences, I was neither offended nor inspired by this one.
I purchased this book more for a glimpse of Cape Cod, a place I have visited and have longed to return to. I did not realize it was a cathartic work, an effort to find oneself, and a story about healing one's marriage. I have to admit that I tend to not read these types of books but I enjoyed this one. I can relate to sometimes feeling the boredom in spite of a hectic and chaotic work life overwhelming me. When I lived in New England I had my own places of respite including a trip to the quiet corner of Connecticut and a frequent quick trip to Todd's Pond to feed the ducks. I miss that life and long for the beauty of seasons. So, I could relate to Ms. Anderson's year long adventure and found that I have healed a bit after reading her story.
I can see me where she was looking for the answers of my life .looking to feel free and happy . The beach and the ocean is where I feel the most relaxed I want that little cottage and everything that goes with it. I felt like I was with her in her journey. I'm on to read her next book this was my first.
Greatest joys: marriage. Greatest heartache: divorce. Not at all as I anticipated when reading. The ups and downs with marriage are like the sea and Joan Anderson found out by finding herself there. Its never to late to start over, start fresh, and start again. I would call this a marriage handbook. This book has given me a new outlook on my life and my marriage. Thank you. BB~
Stepping away from everyday life myself for the next three weeks in an artist residency on Nantucket, this book was recommended by a friend. Joan's journey began it seems - more in desperation than desire - quite different than my situation. I have such support from family and friends and yet my mind tarries a bit in wanting to "please everyone" with what I discover for myself in an intense examination (my own) of my creativity. I must remember I'm not there to please anyone but to let the art come to me. Thank you Joan for the read!
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